Okay, so where have I been for the last month. I really don't know what has happened to the time, but it just seems to fly by and I don't get anything accomplished. Anyway, I'll try and get you caught up on my not so fascinating life.

First of all, the diet and exercise thing is not going well at all. I think the real eye opener for me was last week while I was visiting my youngest daughter for a couple of days. We were out shopping (something I haven't done since her wedding last June) and I tried on some dreaded bathing suits (something I haven't done in about 10 years). Let's just say 10 years ago I looked much better in a bathing suit, but that isn't even the real point. I will say that my body has changed tremendously - and not to the good, BUT what really hurt was I realized that i was doing NOTHING to change the looks of my body and I had NO ONE to blame but myself. I talk a real good game - how I'm going to do this and do that and I might actually do it for a couple of days, maybe even a couple of weeks and then I stop- I don't mean forget to go a couple of days - I mean I just stop all together. I told my daughter that I don't do anything to change the way I look, so I better stop complaining. I have to get mad at myself and right now I don't guess I am - I mean I'm wearing a size 8 - not that bad (I would rather be in a 6, but an 8 is okay). The thing that really bothers me is the 'saddle bags, 'love handles' and the belly 'fat' - If I ran around naked all the time then it would be easy to change (I guarantee you that I would be doing sit ups or what ever it would take to get rid of this stuff) - I am still vain, but I can very easily hide my 'flaws' with the right clothes. As long as I don't have to see them I can ignore them.

So, what is the solution - well, it MIGHT be coming later this week - I had my lab work done this morning for my physical this Thursday - Depending on my labs I might be told what I have to do - and that might be what I need.

I wish I knew what to do - as I said in my very first post - I don't know how to exercise on a regular basis - and diet, well, I'm a little lost on that subject too. In my youth, all I had to do was not eat for a couple of days (or skip a couple of meals) and I would be back in my size 2 - that doesn't work at 55 years of age. Maybe if I had someone to answer to - like the doctor - it would make a difference - I don't know. Maybe if I take a picture of myself that could make a difference - I don't know about that either. Anyone have any ideas that will get me going and STAY at it???? Right now I feel like I am a failure - and I really don't know how to change.

Other than that not a whole lot has happened - I did interview for two long term sub positions - I didn't get either one of them - I think the main thing was I didn't have a Certificate of Eligibility at the time, but I do now. I also take the state test on the 19th of this month - IF I pass this test I will be able to get my certificate reinstated. Right now, all I want to do is substitute teach - I don't think I want a full time job. I should be able to do that without passing the test, but I can't get the county's personnel office to call me back. SOOOOO, Wednesday or Thursday of this week, I will go to the county office and wait until I see someone in personnel to tell me what I need to do to finally get on the sub list. I have all the paperwork in - so I really don't know what the hold up is.

I have been volunteering here in the village - and that has taken up some of my time - it has been nice to get out and meet people and feel needed by someone. I will continue to do this even if I do get on the sub list. We get our tax return back from the accountant tomorrow - that might be enough to make me diet - we might not be able to afford any food after tomorrow.

Well, that is about it - I will try and do better with my posting in the future - I'll do my best to get back on the Sunday afternoon posting schedule. I would love to hear from anyone with comments - maybe you could be my motivator. Until next time America!